How To Be Happy Living Alone
Posted: Wednesday, November 25, 2009
by Ella Camp
Living alone doesn't have to mean being lonely; not if you like the person you live with. Some people actually choose to live alone; they prefer it to any other situation. Then there are those who live alone by necessity; they have no other choice. The first group needs no instructions- they enjoy living alone, and know how to do it successfully. A few of the latter group find that even though it wasn't a deliberate choice, it wasn't so bad once they got used to it. The others,(and there are many,) find living alone an intolerable, lonely, even miserable existence.
Begin by cleaning out the attic of your psyche. If the furniture there seems tattered and displeasing to you- throw it out and replace it with things you like and make you feel comfortable. It's not necessary to live with other people's cast-offs - nor irritating habits you may have developed because of them.
Next, go on a treasure hunt within yourself- you may find many sparkling facets there, things you didn't realize existed- things that lay buried while you were looking elsewhere. Place mirrors all around your living quarters, after all you're the star of this show- you should be able to see yourself well and often.
Learning to please #1 is paramount to successfully living alone. As strange as it may sound, you must learn to become selfish. This can be a difficult phase for some people, they've spent most of their lives learning to share and be accommodating and pleasing to others. Nevertheless, being selfish and learning to please yourself is necessary when you live alone- after all it's yourself you're trying to make comfortable.
You must be as enthusiastic in discovering yourself as you were in discovering other people. The more you like YOU, the happier you will be living alone. The cliche' " If it ant broke don't fix it," should also read- " If it IS broke, by all means DO fix it." Make yourself into someone interesting,someone you'll enjoy living with. If you're unhappy living alone, you've no one to blame but yourself.
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)A brave, independant and most stalwart essay.You describe self exploration in being alone like spelunking or sky diving, a spunky and refreshing stance.Most people dread and avoid being alone; it forces them to be alone with their own thoughts something forbidding and alien.(forgive the word choice)You are the rare soul who can reside alone and be self comforted.It is much worse to be within a marriage and feel lonely than it is to be alone and feel lonely.You equate being alone as a frolic with yourself, a refreshing and unique perspective for many who would much rather be unhappy in a bad relationship than suffer the self ravages of being alone.Christ said that one should love thy neighbor as one loves oneself.Many misunderstand and disregard that self love aspect and deem it narcissistic .You have corrected them all.An inspirational article that should be reread as it is truly worth a closer look, to look within.To be happy and content in life is a personal duty to ourselves; and a quest we must persue indefatigably. If we are lonely and unhappy within a marriage and lonely and unhappy being alone, we have failed in that duty, and must again take up arms against this failure- defeat is not an option.
Hi Ella, I agree with Paul. What you have written is truly an inspirational piece. I had lived alone for years and I did not mind it at all. And yes, I have mirrors all around my apartment just to make sure I am not wearing a long face. LOL. Great article Ella.Thank you for joining my fan club. I appreciate it very much. ~Nenita~
Thank you for this article - I learnt a lot from it, especially as I am now living alone. I am putting this in my favorites so I can go back to it when I need to - thankyou
I end up living alone through a series of circumstances and found much to my surprise and delight that I love living alone. I purchased a house in a cedar forest and I'm working on my Ph.D. I have to say that I've never been happier or had more fun. Apparently for me losing myself in being a mother and a wife wasn't as satisfying for me as pursuing my dreams and goals for myself, by myself.
Beautiful points and heart felt too.I thank you so much for reading and understanding this- and for your gracious comment- Always- Ella
Great article Ella!
Steve
A good pep talk Ella. Although I think it's easier to meet the needs of others and to love them, it's important to love ourselves first, if we're looking to be content.I think it would be hard to love someone who doesn't think much of themselves...Thanks for reading Brianna-
This article really changed my prospective view of being alone.thanks ella
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